28 Questions Q19 | 06+11+19

Q19: How are you making the world a better place?

A19: Spreading goodness, kindess, & loving people.

I have to say I don’t really think I am one of those people making the world a better place. I am just one person and some days I can barely breath because of my own worries. However, I do try my best these days to be kind to everyone I meet, do good in the community around me, and love both those who deserve it and those who don’t.

Now, if the question had asked how I WANT to make the world a better place? My answer would be this:

I would like to start a non-profit that helps those going through addiction. Offer them a completely free place to get sober and find a life after addiction. This place would be at no cost to them. They would have housing, jobs, a personal life coach, church services, and we would teach them about life stability, mental stability, physical stabiliy, healthy relationships, sobriety success, caring for themselves and others, and anything else needed to know about being in recovery. This place wouldn’t be about strick rules or court orders (though I would offer it through the court systems) it would be a place to make them feel like they can do this on thier own without actually being on thier own. And as they grew in thier sobreity I would help them to inspire other’s so that they felt the importance of thier success.

I know there are rehabs and centers to get help. However, 99% of those places force you to stay, cost you and your family thousands of dollars, teach you the text book basics, and never care to help you more once you have “completed” or left thier program.

Mine would be different. Each person would have thier own life coach and even after they left that person would be welcome any time to come back incase of extra help needed or whatever the reason!

Addiction is an epidemic and it needs to stop. Addiction takes the lives of otherwise beautiful, kind, smart, & fantastic individuls and ruins every part of them and thier families lives. There needs to be a place that people can really offer help and actually CARE about the people that walked through the doors.

Teens and adults suffer from addiction and I want to help both. That is how I would truly like to change the world!

That is all for now

@chic_sober

28 Questions Q15 | 06+07+19

Q15: What are you afraid to ask for? What do you need to speak up about?

A15: I am afraid to ask if TJ really loves me! I need to speak up about addiction & recovery.

The first answer is a touchy topic for me. I don’t talk about our relationship much because I have a lot of insecurities that I hide or at least try to hide them. When we were doing the drugs all we did was fight and spend every waking minute together. Of course there were moments where things were good. During the moments of intimancy things were always intense and almost an all the time thing. Now, that we are sober we have our own lives such as work, hobbies, and relaxing times. We each do our own thing and though we are still spending time together, things are not the same. I sometimes feel like we are roomates who happen to be intimate with each other from time to time. I know that I make him smile and that he cares for me deeply but I am not sure that he is “in love” with me. I don’t feel that tingling touch from him anymore because well he doesn’t touch me much these days. His kisses are pecks never really anything intimate. He used to look at me with desire and fire in his eyes and now I am lucky to get him to really look at me at all. When I walk in a room I want his eyes to fall on mine and I don’t want to question if it is love and desire that I see in them; right now all I see is uncertinaty. He doesn’t try to take me on dates or to do anything really special, he doesn’t ever just stop and hold me and tell me that he loves his life with me and that he is glad to be living this life with me. Now, I know I don’t do these things either and I don’t “try” right now much myself but I don’t want to put my all into this and then get my heart broken. He is the man in our relationship and I have always been very clear on what I need from him; so why don’t he try now? I just want to feel that fire from him that I felt when we first got together. I struggle with this a lot here lately. But I am too afraid of what his honest answer will be if I ask him, do you really love me?

Whoa, now that I am done with that brutally honest answer! I really need to start speaking up about addiction, recovery, and the like! I want to get out more and find others who need help and show them that there are ways to make it out and live a good life. I want to offer support, advice, and more to those in need of help from addiction. Most of the programs available you have to have money and I want to be able to help them no matter if they have money or not. I have began developing a plan to start putting this into action. Baby steps I guess, uh?

That is al for now

@chic_sober

Sober Soul Chic | 5+28+19

I’ve been doing some soul searching. Trying to really find what I want to do in life. I think we all have some kind of message we are supposed to share. I am constantly on the search for mine. And for years even before my battle with addiction I have always felt like I was supposed to somehow help those who struggle with addiction.

Since I was a baby I’ve been around drugs. My father, “Pedro” is an addict, my moms an addict, my grandfather, uncles, aunt, and even my dad “Steve”. Everyone except my grandmother has battled addiction. So it’s in my blood, in my gene’s, and in my soul! However, I have decided to WIN THE WAR & be a Sober Soul Chic in the mix! I am going to do all that I can to share and educate those on how to get sober, stay sober, & be free of the chains & pain addiction gives them.

This blog, Chaotic Candance started out as a place for my kids to see me post videos for them and find me one day, but it has grew to be something more. In fact, when my kids do go looking for me and they come across this blog I want them to see good I am trying to do and what I am becoming. Because no one is my inspiration more than my 4 beautiful babies!

This is going to be a ever-changing, continuously growing, and beautiful thing building for a while until Sober Soul Chic aka Chic Sober is fully bloomed but I can’t wait to see what it becomes.

This is what I’m meant to do. Share my story and share other’s stories to show all those who battle with addiction that RECOVERY is possible! And most importantly show my kids that I AM SOBER & CLEAN & IN RECOVERY FOR THEM!

So as I do some new branding, updating sites & post, figuring out how to really hit the ground running, & sharing the brand new Sober Soul Chic I hope you’ll be encouraging and give any advice you might have!

Much love!

@chic_sober