I’ve been doing some soul searching. Trying to really find what I want to do in life. I think we all have some kind of message we are supposed to share. I am constantly on the search for mine. And for years even before my battle with addiction I have always felt like I was supposed to somehow help those who struggle with addiction.
Since I was a baby I’ve been around drugs. My father, “Pedro” is an addict, my moms an addict, my grandfather, uncles, aunt, and even my dad “Steve”. Everyone except my grandmother has battled addiction. So it’s in my blood, in my gene’s, and in my soul! However, I have decided to WIN THE WAR & be a Sober Soul Chic in the mix! I am going to do all that I can to share and educate those on how to get sober, stay sober, & be free of the chains & pain addiction gives them.
This blog, Chaotic Candance started out as a place for my kids to see me post videos for them and find me one day, but it has grew to be something more. In fact, when my kids do go looking for me and they come across this blog I want them to see good I am trying to do and what I am becoming. Because no one is my inspiration more than my 4 beautiful babies!
This is going to be a ever-changing, continuously growing, and beautiful thing building for a while until Sober Soul Chic aka Chic Sober is fully bloomed but I can’t wait to see what it becomes.
This is what I’m meant to do. Share my story and share other’s stories to show all those who battle with addiction that RECOVERY is possible! And most importantly show my kids that I AM SOBER & CLEAN & IN RECOVERY FOR THEM!
So as I do some new branding, updating sites & post, figuring out how to really hit the ground running, & sharing the brand new Sober Soul Chic I hope you’ll be encouraging and give any advice you might have!
Q5: What is something you need to start saying YES to?
A5: Going to church more!
I don’t go to church nearly enough! It simply was not something my mother and I did growing up. So it’s a bit more difficult implement into my life as an adult. However, TJ & I went just this pass Sunday and let me tell you it was emotional. By the end of the service we were both in tears and I know now that I want and will be going back again. Over the past year I have gotten a closer relationship with my God and I definitely need to exercise that in all parts of my life. I know that God provides for us and we need to shower ourselves in his love so that we can see the true joy he will give us. So from here on out I want to make sure that I start saying YES when my uncle ask me to come to his service.
Yes my Uncle Lez is a Preacher and a funny one at that! I don’t want to offend anyone who follows my blog by speaking about religion so at this point if you’d rather not continue reading I understand but I want to share with you a FB live video of one of his services.
Q4: What is a compliment you struggle to accept about yourself?
A4: that i am sexxi! OMG did i just say that?
This is somethings that is hard for me to accept. My boyfriend tells me this almost every single day.
“Babydoll you are so sexxi!” And almost immediately I say “whatever” or “your crazy” and he sometimes will say to me, “Why don’t you just accept it”
But its hard because I don’t always feel it. I mean when I think of a sexxi woman I think Jennifer Anniston in Horrible Bosses or Jessica Alba in Honey. But not Candance in everyday life! HaHa. I am not insecure. I feel beautiful most days. I love my body, my hair, my mind, and more but unless I am dressed to the max and got a little sexxi number on I don’t consider myself sexxi. So therefore it is hard for me to accept that compliment. I consider myself everyday beautiful. Just normal not sexxi. But I’m working on that!
1. conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy, or fairness.
So there you have it. I need to be more consistent! I’ve given myself a head start on here for doing this next month because I’ve dedicated myself to this 28 Questions series and I really want to follow it through. The questions get more in-tune with who I am a little later into it. So far I am enjoying this! I think that in June I want to do a Questions series tailored around Addiction. I feel like its something I need to do!
Anyways, I’ve went and got myself one of the beautiful planners from,–> The Happy Planner! They are super fun and insanely pretty! You can create your own personalized planner and make planning fun! This is hopefully going to help me organize all that I have going on and what I have to do and it’ll be pretty too! You should definitely check them out here @ —-> website shop where you can get awesome deals! They are also sold here –> Wal-Mart There are tons of styles, stickers, & journals!
Q2: What is a limiting belief that you have about yourself that you can let go?
A2: that i need someone to lead me or to survive in life!
That is NEED someone to lead me or survive! This has been a problem for me almost my whole life and I really don’t even know why because I have survived on my own many time. As a child I had to take care of myself from time to time because it was just my mother & I. She would be working, off on drunk or drug spree, or just simply not around. I learned early how to cook for myself, clean, be by myself & much more by the age of 10/12 years old. Then once I got married to J he was mostly deployed for months at a time and I was at home with the kids doing the day to day life alone as well. This is where I picked up my strong ability to care for our children. And since I’ve gotten divorced I have had parts of life where I have survived on my own but panicked thinking I couldn’t.
I’ve showed myself that I am able. That I can make it on my own or with someone beside me. Throughout my entire life. But still to this very day I feel a sense of dependency. Why? I can’t tell you. Maybe, it has something to do with me having this huge need to feel NEEDED? Could that be? Have you ever felt like you wanted/needed to be needed so bad that you actually thought you NEEDED someone else instead? Crazy way to think of things but I honestly feel like that’s it.
This belief in myself limits me from time to time I know. I hope that being truly on my own will conquer that and give me a sense of freedom from myself. Because I can survive life without anyone. I want to be needed but not always in life will I be able to be fulfilled on this. I know this now and I can maybe move past it.
What about you? Please feel free to share with me. I’d love to know