Q16: What is the most loving thing you’ve ever done for yourself?
A16: Get clean and sober!
No doubt this answer is easy! I put myself through hell during the Devil Days and my body, mind, and soul was wrecked! My hair was falling out, nails wouldn’t grow, skin looked horrible, I was too skinny, and there were huge bags under my eyes. I am only 31 but I looked 45! I didn’t care what was happening to my mind, body, and soul. Getting clean I can now see how horrible I treated myself inside and out. It was the kindest and most loving thing I could have ever done for myself was to get clean.
Now, my hair is growing, my nails are long, my skin looks great, and I have a good weight size! Of course I need to keep my weight in check or else I’m going to look like a hippo in a wal-mart bag but still I am healthy. You can’t look at me now and tell that I ever did drugs because I look good.
I love myself again and that feels great. I know that I can be somebody now and that feels great too.
Q8: Where in your life do you need to slow down & take your time?
A8: Getting my kids back
I’ve thought on this a bit and I know that this is going to be super hard, but it will be so worth it when the time arrives for me to pursue custody. I have a bad habit of rushing through things that I cannot wait for. Something I am excited or anxious about and I just want to hurry up and get tot the end result.
But I simply cannot do that with getting back the kids. God, knows I wish that I could, but I have to do this right. If I make one single mistake it can set me back so drastically. I don’t want to spend any more time away from them that I have too. However, I have a plan that I have set out so that it is fool & fail proof. Because failure is not an option. When the time comes and I am ready for court and paperwork I will be able to sit back and let it happen.
How? Well, all I can say is that I have been planning this for months and still have a lot to get in order. This is the world wide web and that my friends keeps me from saying anymore.
I tell myself everyday, ” Just slow down Candance, it will happen soon enough. Your time is coming and God is with you every step of the way so keep hanging on sweet girl.”
I’ve thought over and over 1000000 times what that day is going to be like! 🙂
Q7: Name a thing you love about your body & your personality
A7: My eyes or smile & that i’m goofy!
I don’t really like talking about these parts of me because I’d rather dig deeper into life lol but these are fun questions too.
My eyes because they are super dark blue but when I’m mad or upset they turn gray! And when I’m really excited or happy they have a real deep blue and green tint to them. So they change and I like that. If you want to know how I’m feeling its easily done by looking into/at my eyes. I give it all away by those things alone! Take a look!
As for my smile because I just couldn’t choose! My teeth are not the straightest and my teeth defintely could use a whitening treatment but I take care of them as much as the every day stuff will allow. But I really like my smile because its BIG! And when I’m smiling it is GENUINE! I don’t fake that shit! Because thats not me. I’ve had ex-boyfriends tell me that I have that smile that will light up a room & a laugh too hahah but hey who really knows! Anyways, take a look yourself!
So my personality is crazy yall! I am outgoing and goofy. Being so goofy is my favorite for sure. I love to make people laugh and most of the time I do a good job at it. If its singing out so loud that you can’t help but laugh or dancing like the redneck next door, there’s no doubt your going to laugh! I am that goofy girl who will make sure your laughing. That is what is so dang great about yours truly! So here ya go. Me being me! Take a look.
I’ve been doing some soul searching. Trying to really find what I want to do in life. I think we all have some kind of message we are supposed to share. I am constantly on the search for mine. And for years even before my battle with addiction I have always felt like I was supposed to somehow help those who struggle with addiction.
Since I was a baby I’ve been around drugs. My father, “Pedro” is an addict, my moms an addict, my grandfather, uncles, aunt, and even my dad “Steve”. Everyone except my grandmother has battled addiction. So it’s in my blood, in my gene’s, and in my soul! However, I have decided to WIN THE WAR & be a Sober Soul Chic in the mix! I am going to do all that I can to share and educate those on how to get sober, stay sober, & be free of the chains & pain addiction gives them.
This blog, Chaotic Candance started out as a place for my kids to see me post videos for them and find me one day, but it has grew to be something more. In fact, when my kids do go looking for me and they come across this blog I want them to see good I am trying to do and what I am becoming. Because no one is my inspiration more than my 4 beautiful babies!
This is going to be a ever-changing, continuously growing, and beautiful thing building for a while until Sober Soul Chic aka Chic Sober is fully bloomed but I can’t wait to see what it becomes.
This is what I’m meant to do. Share my story and share other’s stories to show all those who battle with addiction that RECOVERY is possible! And most importantly show my kids that I AM SOBER & CLEAN & IN RECOVERY FOR THEM!
So as I do some new branding, updating sites & post, figuring out how to really hit the ground running, & sharing the brand new Sober Soul Chic I hope you’ll be encouraging and give any advice you might have!
I think we all forget to remind ourselves sometimes that we are good & beautiful. So for the lack there of I decided to answer 28 Questions that are related to me, myself, & I.
I found this idea on Pintrest and think it’s going to really open up my mind to see that I have come a long way and that I am still a good person even though I have made some really bad choices. I hope maybe you will enjoy getting to know me a little better too. These answer’s may be short and then again they may be long, but guarantee they will be a reflection of me and honest!
Q1: What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?
A1: Its’ not that I don’t love myself, because I do. But there are many different parts of me that I don’t feel secure about. I have messed up so drastically in the recent years that I feel like I am so very much imperfect. Physically I love myself. I consider myself attractive & a beautiful person. Internally I am a good person but I have just made so many wrong choices and this makes it a bit harder to really say that I love myself. Now, I am starting to love myself again so that is progress. I can look in the mirror now and be content with the woman staring back at me. I can look at her and know that she is taking steps every day to be a better person than she used to be. I just still have many things to make up for before I can really love myself. I am my biggest struggle. Because I can’t love myself until I have corrected the wrongs for losing who I was before the drugs and bullshit life I was living that caused me to lose my children. I am making hella progress but I’m not fully there yet.